I never sought or pursued the relationship in the first place. So I met someone on a Christian dating site. I was in a relationship with a man I work with for almost a year. God has changed me a lot since the breakup and I thank Him daily for it. Not legally at least. I think when it comes to relationships, we need to first have a firm foundation of love and trust for God, and instead of searching for someone to complete us, or just someone in general, that we live life fully, and see where He takes us. No one has ever failed in believing that God can provide with His riches in heaven. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. But I don’t think it’s healthy to focus on the temporary’ part. We are living in a world that tells people they don’t have to tolerate any abuse from anyone and can just leave every relationship for any type of perceived or actual abuse. We kept trying to keep talking and knowing each other going on and off buh he couldn’t ask me out or date me properly cause of the huge distance. Love & Light Justine. An idol can be anything you desire more than God. But what is the difference between infatuation and love? Learn how your comment data is processed. However, a lot of times we will justify our actions based on something we prayed for. I have been struggling as to why since he has always been very good to me. We would see each other 1-2 times a week but would naturally fall into a relationship pattern, which scared him as he wasn’t ready. Omgosh, while reading this, I felt like God was speaking to me through this while I was crying I just couldn’t put this down. Some of us are praying for a husband. A quest every human being has been on at some point in his life. My Fiance left me and our children suddenly my life was perfect I had it all. Hi Leeisha, there is only one way for you to understand. We dated and recently broke up due to him pursuing the purpose that God gave him. But God has said to this person that he is going in a different direction to what God has planned for him.. And I am struggling to understand what that means for us, and the possibility of a future there.. God always told me patience and to trust him.. but what I don’t understand is why God would say that if he knew that I am not supposed to be with this person.. We didn’t fight, we would always laugh. Bringing me peace and drawing me closer to him. Today feminism has really taken over unfortunately which makes these kind of women now just very awful to meet. It’s up to you to decide what is more important to you. We were so happy until he started calling, texting, and seeing me less. You may have asked God for a sign that the person you are in a relationship with is the one for you. Like could his no but a no for the time being or forever? This is when the smallest things will start to bother you. U know I met a guy online, long story short u wouldn’t think this happens to u on a Christian dating site ecsp after u CLEARLY state u want marriage and kids and follow Christ. To give a bit of insight and some it up so anyone reading can understand what I’m really dealing with it’s like this; I meant the woman who is his ex-wife now in 2015. Reading through your write up made tears frop from eyes cause i wondered why God didnt speak to me on time or made me leave on time before i got this broken. I guess our task now is to see if we can glorify God together because that’s what marriage is for. I wish I saw this six months ago. If there is an us to be. I’m so sorry you are going through this, but I am glad that you have already learned a lot from it. I wanted to wait until marriage to be intimate with him, but we kinda stumble and I felt God was really not happy and he kept saying end the relationship. I pray that you can forgive that person and move on. There were times when he constantly wanted to see me amd times when he didn’t even bother to text me for days. We were just start as a friend. We are struggling financially and yet all he does is work a part time job. But unless we regularly acknowledge God and His desires, our lives will count for little. When you get way past that, trust me. 2 or 3 months later, he confessed to me. I just don’t understand. You can only blame yourself and not him. A lot of changes in the women nowadays compared to the past. I was with my high school sweetheart for 5 years. When this man came into my life, I thought God had different plans for me and I was willing to open my mind and accept the unknown despite how terrified I was. However over recent months her and I have been talking again to which we never discuss him and I have recently seen her put my own arms around her and know that his accusations are false. I also asked God to confirm that this guy is my man. Good luck! We both are Christians and I do know that I didn’t go into it with good intentions. I was so and still am in love. . I’ll continue to seek God. My suggestion is, that you make a list of all the reasons why the two of you would not be good together. Some people are skeptical, but like I said, I know. It describes a very basic human desire to love and be loved. Therefore, I would try to make it work no matter what, which made me compromise my core values and forget about my self-worth. He would game more hours than work. I didn’t realize I had pure love there. Thank you for sharing Ashleigh! My babys’father claimed to be a Christian. I’ve always knew to put God first and I got blinded by a person that played my heart with infatuation.a very hard lesson to learn and reading your article will keep my heart in God’s hands. I don’t usually read articles but God led me to this particular one and I surprisingly I read it to the end. During the relationship and even looking back now I know it wasn’t a good relationship. He broke up with me in a long drawn out text basically saying that he wasn’t ready for kids or marriage which we had both disscussed enthusiastically in the past. To help you find comfort now, I am sharing some of my personal takeaways to the question “why does god break up relationships?” in this article. However, real love is so much more than what we see in movies and transcends the human definition. Never miss a post again!, sign up for email alerts today. I still receive promises from God that He will restore us and that it will be better than before. (He doesn’t handle emotional stress well). God bless you. If it’s her then let the pain be felt and pray continually to God for that relationship breakthrough. That’s encouraging! When I was 12 we met again and he fell deeper in live with me before he saw my face and we instantly connected dues to school we broke up. Everything has always came to pass. Before you know it you realize…. In contrast, when you are in love you agree to a long-lasting commitment to care for your partner. Shortly after I had a feeling that my relationship was not right and we needed to break up. The relationship is damaging your health, damaging to your mental health, damaging to your relationship with Christ… Just damaging to your wellbeing period. And the worst thing is, I have this unsettled feeling that this man will come back into my life and I will cross paths with him again in lifetime when I least expected (even though we are divided by 8000++ miles between us). Thanks so much…….i know it will be painful letting him go but i want to do what’s right and honour God…..Thanks….God bless you for this post, Your email address will not be published. At this time can only express extreme doubt to the validity of that accusation. Small Irritations That Grate Over Time. I realize it’s all bargaining in his delusional contextual way but I’m at a loss of how to effectively and faith-baseidly effectively help him or adequately advised him without him misinterpreting my support to him as validation to his manner and mode of thinking and coping currently. – Zechariah 10:2. A huge sign that God is trying to remove someone from your life is that the relationship between you two will get worse and worse and worse NOT BETTER. Just my fleshy desires. Believe me this situation is not just about him God is doing something in you too. It’s not just working. Erin. I first met him when I was 5 and he was 10, and since then I fell instantly in love with him, and he was somehow attracted to me. In short, I can’t seem to move on no matter how hard I try. God stopped the relationship and im left feeling deflated and disappointed and sad but i trust God and know that His wisdom is far more than mine can ever be. Subscribe to receive a daily email of new posts right in your inbox. I Have a friend who went back to a guy who had so many things wrong but due to her need to feel love. However I had a miscarriage and while I was pregnant it felt off. I decided to introduce my boyfriend to everyone else in my family whom I trust, and they love him, and he did the same in his family and they love me. Someone please explain this issue for me … Please. Thank You! I’ve been relationship free for 2-1/2 years now loving myself again and it’s been a journey and a challenge! Please pray for his healing and for us ♡. I’ve been praying for us to reconcile but I don’t think that would be best. Even though the circumstances around my break up weren’t great. We tried so many different things to save our marriage and from trial & error we came across a very helpful Love solution spell temple on facebook page reviews that love spell from this temple works, I contacted the spell priestess and purchased a spell to bring love and happiness in my marital home and now we are happily together like we just got married. Thank you so much for this article. Or do u think I’m disobeying God as He asked me to let him go. I came out of a physically and emotionally traumatic relationship four years back which was for six years. I thought I’m ready to pursue a relationship after what I felt like being healed, however, the second man came into my life but with another form of abuse. After he sent the break up text, I never heard from him again despite my pleading. Do you know the difference between infatuation and love? thank you so much for sharing. I cannot do this any longer and feel that Gods blessings and promises are only for some people. Well, actually God’s NO is not always definitive otherwise there would be many desires from the past which we would never achieve! This quote is taken from a chapter in Leo Buscaglia’s book “Love: What Life Is All About”. Things just fell apart from no where. If we put our relationship with God first the rest of the relationships fall into place. A year later, he asked me to be his girlfriend. i am glad i went through this post.i probably idolized my relationship and i tried making it work at all cost despite the lies and deceptions. My goal is not to break couples apart, but for couples to have a greater confidence in their decision to marry. Hey Candice. God hates divorce and anyone who has been there knows why. It didn’t take Him long at all to answer that prayer. I did feel it was as is You are absolutely correct that men and women can accept Christ for themselves at any time. God will never forget about you. And what does “Equally yoked” mean. For women, it is very often the desire to be married. It hard to understand but I’ve realised that it’s the truth and it’s Good because it has really made me lost track of myself as well. I put into Google “that God says about the man who left you” I was subsequently led here and so i just wanted to share my story and say thank you, Justine. Please pray for me, for him, for us. I will definitely let you know once that post is up. A godly relationship will only work if you discover God’s true love for you. God confirmed many many times. According to the Oxford Dictionary, infatuation is: ‘an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something.’, ‘patient, kind. My ex broke up with me 6 months ago and I find it so incredibly hard to let him go. Since he started back in August he reconnected with all of his old friends. I will pray for you to find joy again and hopefully love, but then HE is LOVE and HE will never leave you or forsake you. Sometimes, divorce is a good thing. Sometimes those reasons make me confused and more confuse. with God by my side each and every day I know he will bring the right relationship into my life! Now I’m in a safe place and so greatful God has brought me back from the dead and restored my Faith in Love again! Nothing wrong with that. Erin, I suggest you ask yourself why you want to strengthen your relationship with Christ. Then she gets up and walks away. Love & Light. A relationship that does not have a purpose, is oftentimes built on infatuation. But I pray that you are able to trust him even in the midst of uncertainty. I idolized my girlfriend way more than god. It hurt for the first couple of months. Justine is a certified dating, relationship and life coach who has been blogging on justinemfulama.com since 2017. Then I stalked him again and realized this woman and him went to their home country at the same time. Ask yourself why a relationship is so important to you and then give it to God. Or it could be the approval of other people. Since then he has been praying that is me he wants. His plan isn’t perfect; Why would He destroy the most wonderfull things in life? And while it was hard at times I understand now that God will sometimes end a relationship for our own good. But God healed and now I’m just waiting for Godly friends who share the same theology and godly love for friendships the way that I do. I highly thank you for this. But only a month after accepting God’s ‘no’, I met a godly man who eventually became my husband! Seek God’s Heart. I learned the latter first trajic as it was. I’ve been in the same situation before and even though it might seem hard, God’s best is always better than what we can imagine. I’m not saying I’d take him back like that but I have developed a spirit of forgiveness and patience and it could happen one day. This is when the little red flags start waving around in your head. Ask the young man WHAT HIS INTENTIONS ARE? I know one may be that him and his family don’t believe in God, but isn’t there a possibility that that could change? U know what I have been in relationship for a year and half after that we broke up he was my first and I still love him but I know God’s no is for better I believe only that but my heart is still with him don’t know what to do with my heart, I feel for you and know exactly what you are going through. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. God uses delays to train us because sometimes it takes longer to get Egypt out of us than it does to get us out of Egypt. Oh wow Emmy, I’m so happy this post helped you understand God’s no better. Thanks so much for this.I m going through a lot right now. Yh very true….the same was my case. Which I didn’t understand since we were long distance and he was spending his weekends gaming and from like 12 to 1pm weekdays till like 10 or 11pm gaming. I fell for a guy that i just new he was the one It hurt me so much, I couldn’t understand, with time during my healing process God revealed to me the reasons. I know God is up to something good in my life! I don’t know if they all influenced him to leave a girl who doesn’t want him gaming all day because that is all they seemed to care about. I told my boyfriend and he is super supportive about the changes, I basically moved out, he has been praying himself and has come to Christ. I write on the devotional life, Bible lands, understanding the Bible, and resources I have found helpful on these topics. You have to learn to love yourself and your partner the way God does. So is it possible he broke us up as a wake up call for me? I have tried and prayed to God to help me love this one since I have a conviction that he’s “the one”. Sometimes we get to see what that reason is, other times we don’t, but regardless we can trust that God has our best interests in mind. Any answers on this guys? God does play favorites when it comes to relationships. If you resonated with them, then chances are that they are the reason why God took away a relationship. If you haven’t subscribed yet I will remember to send you an email directly I feel like we’re going through the exact same thing. I really wanted to get married to him and a family with so I really hope God can bring us back together someday. i haven’t actually figured out my emotions lately.i don’t know if i am mad at myself or my ex or the fact that i feel broken and and all alone, most of all he is getting married and it all hurts. But how could I have that with a man who claimed he believed in God but didn’t like like it. Thanks. I told him I refuse to have sex until we establish a true connection for one another but most importantly, with GOD. Things suddenly began to go rough for me and the series of breakups started. It won’t be a relationship worthy of returning if it isn’t right? Suddenly he was always getting irritated with me for simply asking for better communication and why had he changed the second year in our relationship. We even went to church taight Sunday class and took volunteer work in what we thought we were supposed to do. But she constantly questions my faith. I asked if she was aware of this friendship and he completely lost it and I know he told his brother because they even tried to change the ex girlfriends name to make it seem like it was a dude. Why would God allow us to get back together in the first place just to tear us apart again? I wound up finding answers in Ecclesiastes in realizing that everything in life under the sun in hevel. We had an incredible relationship, respectful, loving – everything you could hope for a relationship to be. I easily fell into the trap of idolizing relationships – even friendships. That relationship made me believe even more in the goodness of God, but after breaking it I have so much less believe in Him. You may not even realize how damaging the relationship is. Regardless of what we tell ourselves, some relationships are just irreparable. Trust and time are the answers…. I prayed to God to touch his heart. My fiance has broken up with me for more than ten times and I keep on asking myself why. Hi, I'm Justine a certified dating and relationship coach who has been blogging on here since 2017. I can identify with what you have shared. Now that her and I are over, I realize that I don’t NEED her. God is in the move. And he is, the friend of mine, of course, all over again extremely distraught because at their most recent pass Crossing at a grandson’s birthday she did not get offensive defensive or ugly in anyway to him trying to talk to her however she did not entertain or express interest there in of encouraging it and I can imagine it hurt his feelings badly but only because he seeks to wiggle in there as friend and Confidant with the only motivation being getting her back and he seems to have it in his head that it’s God’s will is God’s will is God’s will and he forgives her for her adultery but she is his wife and that Bond should not have been broken if they shouldn’t have gotten divorced and when I take the time to gingerly point out and call attention to the fact that she was his second wife he somehow does not see any harsh Comings or negativity to which God would have a problem with him and that wife divorcing. 6 months is a long time to still be hung up on him and I believe that it won’t stop unless you decide to exit the emotional rollercoaster. We don't have that kind of mountain-moving faith. He was abusive in so many ways, financially, physically, emotionally… Cheating too. If not, then that might be one of the reasons why God said no to your relationship. It breaks my heart, and idk why. We’re still together as I don’t know how to let go. I have tried so hard to bring those pieces together but to no avail. But I actually didn’t… my relationship was my idol God was placed on the back seat while I pursued my relationship. What do you think ? I reminded him of our prophetic word and his response was it’s not godly to keep doing that and using god. Love& Light And just thinking about how sick I am, I thought to myself “if anything happens to me and i go now, my perfect idea of Heaven would be first and foremost to be with God but secondly, it would be a place where my ex would want me again and we could be together, happily ever after. There’s less communication between the two of you. Her purpose for this site is to help women attract and maintain a godly relationship, by teaching self-love, mastery of the mind and confidence. So now i really really just want to be friends with him after praying to God asking him to love me back and all, now i just want to pray for him to just stay relevant in my life. Hi Justine, I always felt in the way but I especially felt in the way when he started playing this game. The below Bible Verses have been quoted from the Life Application Study Bible (NIV). His response? Pls let me know what u think of this , and what these words I felt mean also whether stalking is it that bad if the profile is public anyways to get answers? We therefore have an obligation to … (I’m in a current situation where I told my bf that God put in my heart we should not be having sex until marriage or we will go to hell. So where did I go wrong? Maybe God doesn’t change the situation because He longs to change you first. This is your decision, no coercion here. Move like there’s no plan B. I am working on myself confidence now I hope everything work out good for me I’ve been crying myself to sleep asking God why me because that’s not my first heart broken but this one hurt more because it was my real sexual things involved relationship it’s said to see how he treated me at the end but thank for opening my eyes. Your past relationship had a very traumatic event happening and it’s important that you acknowledge and deal with that. Even when you’re together, you’re distant. It just happened and he dropped into my lap. I’ve been quite forthcoming with my ability to let him communicate his feelings in their entirety. Why? I’m happy you can relate to it, even in your marriage . Wow …. I stumble upon your article and it did enlightened me. My dating and relationship advice advice is faith-based but practical and sourced from my own and other people's life experience. I then met a Godly man after that. Is it possible for God to give us people we feel nothing. Well, I have committed clearly and it isn’t enough for her. I so agree Tatyana! Thanks so much for blessing me. You’re in a relationship, and nothing’s really bad, exactly, but things are different. She refuses to see that my lack of religion most of my life didn’t mean I wasn’t close to God. , Hi Christina, wow it’s such a blessing to hear your story. One thing most of us women have in common is that we all have been heartbroken before. There is no easy way of getting around it. LOVE MY FATHER GOD. At the brink of death you reflect upon the years of wasted time and wonder how you allowed yourself to minimize the things you knew were important by becoming a slave of routine. It was so vivid and it felt so good to see him again. I normally do the calling to check on him but sometimes he don’t respond nor text back. I have made a public profession of Faith and I have been going to worship services and reading my bible and daily devotionals. SO many things aligned with us – it was almost scary. After that I stayed single, I met some men but Dnt go for them as I was waiting on God for the right man to come along. If you still feel for your ex, you should not be dating, but instead, keep working on untying your souls. As a matter of fact, it is very possible to make a wise choice and have a bad outcome. And hope is the only thing I have to hold on to at this point. This man is truly amazing, so kind and loving. Is it wrong to do so? I knew right away that God was the one who ended my 1.5-month long LDR as soon as I prayed about it. And at night when I pray I ask him to continue giving me signs if she’s the one, and the next day or so I get a text or a call from her, or she’ll even come see me in person.. Suffering and afflictions are unavoidable. Trust God to give you the courage to end the relationship, and then trust Him to give you broad enough shoulders and thick enough skin to take the criticism that you may face for ending the relationship. And his resentment towards this boyfriend of hers is growing by Leaps and Bounds considering that a previous friend of hers called him and told him when her and the boyfriend begin going through the same compromising struggles every relationship goes through at some point in time and revealed to him that she and the boyfriend had taking a break from residing with one another, which he hang on to every bit of possibility that he could get her back because they broke up now and he’s going around telling everybody that the reason why they even when on that break is because the boyfriend had physically beating her horribly. Is serving a bigger purpose new posts right in your local church that you should not depend on anyone but... 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